Today, I am grateful for my younger sister and her accomplishments!
My sister played a role in organizing an art show and fundraiser and even had her piece bid on and bought! Let's gooooooo!!!
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Today, I am grateful for taking the steps that I need to for my mental and physical health.
I talk to my students about the idea if my vulnerability is made fun of, this is not a "me problem" but a problem of the person who is abusing that vulnerability. I am human. I have emotions. I need to find better ways, healthier ways, to navigate these emotions. I am on the journey! Today, I am grateful for understanding history and understanding that those who oppose genocide and colonization are on the right side of the story.
From the River to the Sea, Palestine Shall Be Free! Today, I am grateful for being able to cheer on my nieces in the SoDak 16 matchup!
They won! Now, they are on to STATE! In South Dakota, State is an 8-team bracket that all places are played out over three days. OVER THE RIVER AND TO THE HILLS :) Macy and Ashlyn and Wagner volleyball killed it! My sister, T-Money on the Mic, and Libster did a great job announcing during the broadcast! Rockstars! Today, I am grateful for the ability to have strategies that can help me get out of my mental health struggles.
I know that I need to have a schedule and something to work towards. I know that I have been living without much to look forward to...I say this knowing I have my children, my family... I have been having so much negative self-talk about what my day to day actions have been and how they have been leading me nowhere. I have been having so much negative self-talk about how I know what to do but I am not doing it and how dumb does that make me. I have been having so much negative self-talk that I make "jokes" about my weight and body image trying to get past how I actually feel about myself. I don't know how to describe this feeling but with my depression, anxiety and mental health, most days are feeling like survival and that there is a cloud or mist or fog that doesn't let me see the top or the other side so that I know I am going in the right direction. Then, for some reason, there is a moment that something clicks, and now I am ready to make the decisions that are needed to address what I have been talking so negatively about to myself. The picture above represents the "clicking moment" for me. I have been struggling with thinking when do I have time to do what I need to do to be healthier. The time comes from setting my sleep schedule and being intentional about waking up in the morning and getting a workout in. I am challenging myself to do this schedule for two weeks and reassess where I am. I am challenging myself because I want to be good to myself and stop having my own voice being so mean about who I am. Secondarily, I am challenging myself for the people around me. I want to deserve the love and kindness that so many have showed me and actually feel it on the inside. The journey continues. Today, I am grateful to spend time with my son.
I have been feeling guilty about what I have been doing with Dayt. We have gotten into the routine of playing video games and watching movies and being at home. I don't think any of those are bad but that is all we have been doing. I want to take my kids to do things around where we live and have experiences. I know my own mental health has gotten in the way of this and I am trying to break out of it to be better for my people that I love. I want to be smiling on the outside and feel it on the inside and it has been a struggle lately. I loved seeing Dayt skipping and running around seeing the animals. I loved that we would look for the birds and then make fun of each other when we were the first to see it and have to "help" the other. I loved that we tried to get close to look at the lizard and it "spit" at us and scared us. Today was a good day. Today, I am grateful for this space looking like this!
This space had a pile of leaves that I have been looking at and thinking that it should be picked up and cleaned up. My mental health kept me looking at it and thinking I should get that area cleaned up and I would feel better about my back yard area. I have a pool in my backyard for the first time and I didn't get this cleaned up and would complain about the leaves blowing in the pool and making it dirty. My mental health made me think that I didn't want to get my shoes dirty by cleaning this area up so I needed to wait until I found the right shoes to get it done. I have been struggling lately to do the habits and routines that I know will help my mental health but I started to get some of the clarity that I needed to get out of it. I wish it didn't take me so long to get my therapy sessions schedule and actually "do" what I know will help me feel healthier. Dayt and I took a screen break and cleaned this area up and it took us 30 minutes. I have been saying this area has been needed to be cleaned for 4 months. Today, this area is cleaned. Today, I am grateful for shows that can transport me into the story.
I am thankful for art that can take me out of my own head. As much as I say that I am not a fan of horror shows and films, I do enjoy the story and the lessons that they can teach. Did you know that this is the modern adaptation of Edgar Allen Poe's story from 1839?!?!?!?! The original short story was written before the American Civil War!!!! I also learned that the director Mike Flanagan has other series on Netflix that I am excited to watch! Today, I am grateful for the run the Diamondbacks made in the postseason!
The season could have been done a month ago but we got to watch the Dbacks sweet the Brewers, Dodgers...lol, and then come back on the Phillies and beat them the last two games on their home field. I enjoy watching sports and seeing how turnarounds happen and thinking the Dbacks were a 100-loss team two years ago and now they have a bunch of young players that are balling! Can't wait to see what they do this offseason to address the holes that are on this roster! Today, I am grateful for being able to trick-or-treat with my kids!
This is Dayt as Drift! Kayleah had her ogre ears on but I did not get a picture. Trin and Kamil were too cool :) I loved hearing him sing "trick-or-treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat!" I love that he is getting bigger and bigger but is still my little boy. I love seeing his joy and hope that I can continue to foster him have opportunities to do things that he enjoys! I don't want him to go grow up too fast and I don't want to miss these moments. Love you Dayt! Love you girls! Can't wait for next year! I am thinking of dressing up as a sexy wizard! (you have to be on the inside!) |
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Header (above) - Black Hills, SD, 2013 Portrait (below) - Me! Compadre High School, 2021 Dylan WinceI am not a writer. Archives
May 2024
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